She believed.
He lied.
A phrase most often used as a reference to boyfriends and girlfriends, however, the meaning of this phrase, for the purpose of this blog, refers to a father and a daughter.
She believed.
She believed in who he was,
She believe in the love he showed,
She believed in the man he said he was, but more importantly, she believed him when he said that he would never leave.
He lied.
He lied about who he was,
He lied about the love he'd shown,
He lied about the man he said he was, but the thing that hurt the most was that he lied when he said that he'd never leave.
Lying has always been the thing I hate the most, the one thing - other than parental rejection and words that are far from affirming - that hurts more than anything. I never thought anything could ever equal to the hurt of being lied to, however, I was wrong. {And yes, that will be the ONLY time that will ever be seen in writing.}
Having someone whom you love very much, who has been always been around, and who helped in the creation process of your life, and when that person leaves and lies in the midst of leaving, that's what hurts the most. Knowing that you're not worth the truth, that everything you've ever known, everything you have been told by that person is a lie.
The weight of losing a parent is something I never thought I'd have to deal with till I, and my parents, were much older, however, it is a weight currently pressing itself down upon my life. This pain that I must deal with now is something I could only empathize with some of my friends over, but now, I can sympathize with them. Mind you, this is not something I ever thought I would have to go through, but here I am in the midst of it.
In the midst of divorce.
Divorce, being a word that was never a part of my vocabulary regarding my own life, is now a word that has quickly become a very prominent part of my daily use of words.
Until our next encounter,
Lauren
