Dear....

i wish I knew how to do better for You.
How to make sure You're happy and proud.
To be able to be as good as You expect -
as good as You're used to.

i am still learning,
mistakes will be made -
it's a part of humanity -
though i feel You feel i ought to
Be above the failures of human nature.

my Mind is broken -
You said You were aware and
that it was alright,
though the feeling i get is
How much You hate the brokenness;
that the trauma and mess isn't
worth Your care.

the failings i make are those of
Unintent, yet You act as though
Intent showed her face for each -
i'll repeat - -
Never would i make them when Intent is near.

i am dragging myself through Sluggish Black,
making Changes i Never thought
i could -
albeThem necessary, They hurt.
i still will make Them.

You steal my heart more and
more each day, i know not why -
i told You i wouldn't go, i like
You, Her....Us -
yet i seem unable to
return the Heart Steals.
Is it me?  have i done all wrong?

Tell me, how do i do better?
how do i not hurt You?
Help me understand how to be someone
You can be proud of -
someone worth Your care and time.