I've been wondering a lot of things lately and trying to figure everything out, but it's just not been going the way it needs to be going. I've been struggling with whether or not God's still there for me or if He's run away like everyone eventually tends to do. Well, I can't say /everyone/....most everyone, I'll say instead.
A heart can only hold so much pain and tolerate so much crap. I've about reached my capacity, but I can't break. I can't fall. I have to stay strong for my family and my friends. Hiding seems to be my only option, yet even when I do that, someone seems to find me.
Beautifully Hidden From You
Hiding in this secret place,
I find You.
Shying away from the word's chaos,
I hear You.
Laying in the darkness,
I feel You.
Eyes blurred and swollen with tears,
I see You.
I find You when I'm hiding from You,
I hear You when I'm not listening.
I feel You when I'm anti-touch,
I see You when I'm blind to everything.
-Fearful to be found as messy as I am,
The Seeker finds and calls me beautiful.
-Deaf to the world and those who care,
I hear the words He speaks so clearly.
-Afraid of being touched and hurt again,
I feel the arms of The Comforter wrap tightly around me.
-Ignorant of all the beauty around me and the faces in need of grace and love,
I see You in all Your beauty and love.
I find You when I'm running
and wanting to escape it all.
I hear You in the wind's mighty howl, in the storm's raging tears,
in the dancing trees and the tranquility of the flowers
and in all kinds of nature.
I feel you when I push all others away;
You remain with an unmatched stubbornness.
I see You breaking me down and
tearing through my walls and
I see You as a blinding light through
my unrelenting, never-ending darkness.
Find me, heal me.
Hear me, love me.
Comfort me, care for me.
See me, help me.
Never leave me; stay here with me.
Guide me through this shadowed wood
to the twinkle at the boarder.
Until our next encounter,
Lauren
